What if your imposter syndrome was right all along?

The only people immune to imposter syndrome are those that feel like life owes them a favour. Being generous and vulnerable means confronting imposter syndrome, so instead of denying it, why not call its bluff?

Imposter syndrome is that feeling that you don’t belong in a particular space, usually because you believe you’re not meeting certain criteria. Honestly, who doesn’t suffer from imposter syndrome? Well, I’ll tell you who: people who feel entitled or like the world owes them something. These aren’t the sorts of people we want to emulate because they take far more than they give.

Being generous with your time, energy, or vulnerability means being in constant contact with your imposter syndrome. I’m not going to tell you it’s wrong or that you should ignore it — like a toddler in a supermarket, it’ll only scream louder. Instead, let’s work with it, have a conversation with it, and see if we can’t call its bluff.

Let’s talk about imposter syndrome

Let’s face it: we’re all winging it to some degree, every one of us. I know that can be hard to wrap your head around, but I have conversations all the time with people I think are geniuses. They’re brilliant at what they do — in their zone of genius, they’re remarkable. That’s why it’s their zone of genius. But catch them in an area outside their expertise, and they’re a very different person.

I can present reasonably confidently when I’m behind the mic. I can also edit. But put me in a physical space with other human beings, and it’s a very different story. I’m a different person, with much less of that surety than I have even over Zoom.

So, what can we do about it?

Acknowledge and address your imposter syndrome

If you’ve read the phenomenal book The Chimp Paradox, it’s worth remembering that our imposter syndrome is doing what the book calls the “Chimp” or lizard brain — it’s trying to protect us from something.

Much of the time, imposter syndrome is trying to protect us from shame. It’s trying to keep us from venturing too far outside our comfort zone and doing something that might make us look silly or result in some kind of tribal banishment. And because banishment historically meant death, that raises all our fight-or-flight responses.

If we ignore that voice, it’ll only scream louder because it wants to help. As negative and difficult as it can be, it is trying to help by keeping us safe in our little bubble.

As podcasters and subject matter experts, we can focus on what makes us unique and what we can offer. Sometimes it’s not even about a unique perspective — it’s merely about your take, your voice, the way you present ideas. They’ll resonate with certain people and bounce off others. So focus on what makes you unique and what makes you interesting.

Imposter syndrome thrives on uncertainty and lack of knowledge.

One thing you can do is research. If it asks you questions or brings up doubts, see if you can answer those. Take some time. If it’s telling you that you can’t do something, or that several other people have already done this particular thing, or questioning how many people will really listen or care, go out and find those numbers.

On one hand, you might find information that makes you think “Maybe I need to change how I’m approaching my work”. Feed that fear with information. It won’t make the fear go away — it’ll just start asking more questions — but it’s an action we can take.

Ask the “five whys”

This Japanese method involves taking a question or statement and repeatedly asking why it’s true. You keep going — it doesn’t have to be exactly five times, it could be three or more — until you get to an essential truth. If you keep challenging your imposter syndrome in constructive ways, rather than trying to deny it outright, you can dig deeper.

For example, if it says your voice is annoying and you respond with a flat denial, that’s not helpful — you’ll just go back and forth. Instead, ask what exactly is annoying about your voice.

If you ask, “What exactly is annoying about my voice?” Your imposter syndrome might say “It’s nasal”. So honestly ask yourself who has ever said your voice is nasal? Maybe two people? So two people out of everyone you’ve ever spoken to have said you have a nasal voice. That’s really not statistically relevant.

You don’t necessarily need to ask explicit “why” questions here, but with each ask, dig a little deeper. At some point, your imposter syndrome is going to start giving vague, non-specific answers, or it might just resort to “Yeah, well, you’re annoying”.

When that happens, you know it has nothing else to offer. Remember, it is trying to help you, but when it reaches that point where all it can do is fall back on vague fears, you can say, “Okay. I understand. I acknowledge you’re trying to keep me safe, but we’ve just had a conversation about why I don’t think these things are true. If you’ve got something else to offer, then absolutely bring it up. Otherwise, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to move on”.

Stop discounting your achievements

Your imposter syndrome might want to say “Oh, that didn’t count” when you achieve something. Again, this is your invitation to ask “why not?”

One thing we tend to do, partnered with discounting achievements, is to over-generalise. I might say, “Well, I never get any opportunities. Stuff never seems to work out for me”. But there are so many questions you can ask about that. How many opportunities have you actually sought out? How many have you looked for?

Feature of failure

Public failure is something we have to contend with as podcasters and subject matter experts. We’re putting our voices out there, and it’s no good pretending that the fear of public failure doesn’t cross our minds.

Whether you’re one or a hundred episodes in, at various points — it might not even be directly related to your podcast, it might be because someone invites you onto theirs, or because someone wants you to participate in a panel discussion or give a talk — you’re going to face this fear of public failure.

So, here are some invitations I can give you to deal with this fear.

1. View setbacks as opportunities to learn

This is all part of that growth mindset stuff. View any type of negativity or negative feedback as a learning experience. That’s what we’re worried about, right? If I go on someone’s show and I’m not at my best, or I’m asked a tricky question and don’t have a good answer.

Now, part of my belief is that it’s up to the host to hold a safe space for you. If they caught you out or asked you a question you couldn’t answer well — consider whether that’s because they should have given you some prep. Maybe they tried to throw in a curveball question.

2. Normalise mistakes

If you get something wrong, this is your opportunity to say, “I know what I did wrong there.” Put that on the board. That’s something you can learn for next time, or it’s something to add to your checklist.

Checklists come from mistakes. They come from realising, “I didn’t think about that,” or “I didn’t realize,” or “This thing happened and now I know I can guard against it.” So now you can have an item on your checklist that reminds you to make sure that particular thing happens.

3. Talk yourself down as a close friend would

I know it’s something you’ve probably heard before, but would you allow a good friend to talk to you the way your imposter syndrome does? You wouldn’t tolerate it, would you? You’d say, “Don’t do that — that’s my friend. Don’t talk about my friend like that”.

We’re sometimes told we need to hear harsh criticism, or that we’re receiving “tough love”. But I’ll ask you: when has that ever truly helped? And is it really tough love, or is it cruelty? Try to have a conversation as if you’re talking to someone who loves you, cares about you, and wants you to succeed.

4. Judge the output rather than the outcomes

It’s the same approach we take when setting goals. You want to set goals based on what you do, not on the end result or, more importantly, not on how other people judge that end result — because you can’t control that. So focus on the progress you’ve made. Focus on incremental improvements.

Am I 1% better than I was last week? Is this episode 1% better than last week’s? By any metric, do I feel like I’ve moved the needle?

5. Surround yourself with a supportive community

This could be friends or colleagues — people who have your best interests at heart, who want you to succeed and do well, but who also don’t want you to make a fool of yourself. Lean on them when you need to.

Ask them for advice, support, and feedback. But also, don’t be afraid to approach them with vulnerability and say, “I could use a couple of minutes to help me through a conversation I’m having with my imposter syndrome.” Maybe they can reflect some of these questions back to you and ask rational questions, like “Is that really true?” when your imposter syndrome flares up.

I run a community for subject matter experts who want to improve their podcasting game.

6. Stay connected to your purpose and passion

Whenever I’ve found myself complaining about not getting something I wanted or not being in the position I wanted to be in, I go back to a question or a sense or a feeling of service. And I find that really helpful. It just reconnects me with who I’m actually trying to help, and how I’m trying to help them. There’s something about that act of reconnecting with the purpose that fuels me.

7. Embrace vulnerability as a strength for making real, authentic connections

Fear is a natural part of life — it’s something we need. Vulnerability can lead to really interesting connections because it’s exposing a bit of ourselves. This is one area where I respectfully disagree with Seth Godin.

He doesn’t seem to have much time for what he calls “authenticity.” He says you should be a professional because that’s what people are looking for. And I get that. But I also think people are looking for human connection.

There’s great value in reminding people every now and then that you are human, because I believe most things can bring us closer together. It’s not all about the work. It’s not always about the output. It’s about who puts that out.

What if it’s giving you good information? What do we do then? Because, like I said, it’s there to protect us. What if it’s giving us data that turns out to be true?

What does “good enough” look like?

Who decides what “good enough” is? How will you know when you’ve reached that “good enough”? How do you know when you’re finished? How do you know when “good enough” is good enough? And can “good enough” be reframed as “good enough for now”? It doesn’t have to be good forever. Maybe it is just good enough for now.

Is there one person who decides what “good enough” is? Is there a group of people? Do they all decide on the same thing? Do they all have the same idea of what “good enough” is? Or is it a case of “I know it when I see it”? Well, if you know it when you see it, do other people know it when they see it? And do they see the same thing?

What’s “good enough” is entirely subjective. So what we have to contend with is: who’s “good enough” are we measuring by? Whose standard of “good enough” are we using?

And if you’re honest, it’s probably your own. And if you have any shred of perfectionism in you, or if you care even a bit about the work you do, that’s probably really hard. It’s probably really difficult to find that “good enough” — to give yourself permission to say, “You know what? That’s good enough. That was good.” Because there’s a big difference, and it’s just one word, two syllables: “enough”.

And it has to be your standard. If you go by someone else’s standard, that’s not a firm enough anchor. It’s always going to shift because it’s not really connected with who you are.

You’ve got to find what “good enough” is for you, and be okay with the fact that you might not always hit it, because you’re likely to set standards that are higher for yourself than other people — or your listeners — are going to set for you.

What if you’re not trying hard enough?

Who said that things have to be hard or hard-fought in order to be good? Paul McCartney apparently heard Yesterday in a dream, and wrote the lyrics on a bus.

Bruce Springsteen plays super long gigs, and McCartney has tongue-in-cheekily complained about this. So on one hand, we have Paul McCartney who doesn’t try, and you’ve got Springsteen who’s trying too hard.

All of it is perception. We have no idea how hard working either of them are or what it took for them to get to the point where things feel easy for them.

What resonates with some is not going to resonate with others. Some people are gonna dig McCartney, some people are gonna dig Springsteen. And they may have their reasons, but ultimately it’s not because one of them tries harder than the other, whoever you think that is.

So ultimately this is the question that you have to ask yourself. When you’re evaluating am I good enough? Is my imposter syndrome right? What if I’m not trying hard enough? Ask yourself this question:

Did I do enough today?

If you can say “yeah, I think I did”, then you’re on the right track. You don’t need to do anything more. I give you my permission to go to bed with a clean conscience. Because that’s it. He did enough today. Well done.

If not, then simply ask yourself “What one thing could I do better next time?” Or “what one thing did I miss out that I could do next time?” Or “Could I spend one minute longer on this thing?”

Ask that without judgment. Ask that without any sense of rebuke. You don’t have to beat yourself up. You don’t have to tell yourself off. You’ve got a lot going on. And it’s not as if your podcast is a job that’s paying you a load of money. Yes it’s something you care about, but it’s only one part of your very important life, and you’ve got to get that balance right.

So really ask yourself that question, anytime that you’re feeling you’ve put out something substandard or rushed. Ask yourself “Did I do enough today?”

Chances are you probably did.

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